Finally a non-travel post!

This blog has become a travel blog instead of a family blog.  I've been a widow for three years and I've been traveling a lot, recently, so that's become the focus of my posts.  Today I was going through some photos and I thought I'd share one of my favorites,  This photo was taken 54 years ago, a few months before I was married, at Boy Scout Winter Camp in the nearby San Bernardino Mountains. It features my two favorite men, my dad Rex, and my husband Bob. My Dad passed away 16 years ago, in January, and Bob passed away 3 years ago today. I'm lucky to have had a great Dad and husband, not perfect, but great.

Thanks for stopping by and sharing my life with me,

It's been a heck of a year,

and I'm so ready for it to be over.  Many things have happened.

Oden and Bob five years ago.

My husband Bob died in late January.  He'd been stricken with cancer, but he'd been responding well to treatments.  He'd been diabetic for 40 years, and the combo of diseases was just too much for his heart.  Fortuitously, both my daughters had been able to spend time with him before it happened.

In April, my Dad's 2nd wife passed away.  My Dad died 13 years ago, but my sister and I hadn't been able to settle his estate until his wife had also died.  Nellie lived about a mile from me.  She moved within weeks of Dad death because they had bought a new home and sold their existing home.  It was a very hard time for her.  I introduced her to many people and did my best to be sure she had options.  She really never stopped grieving for Dad, and that impacted her life, of course.  About 5 years ago, she started hanging up on me whenever I'd call to check in with her.  After 3 times, I stopped calling.  After her death, I was able to guess the reason for the hangups.  She'd been to her attorney and unlawfully tried to change Dad's estate to exclude my sister and me.  She tried twice.  She did change her estate to exclude us; her estate went to a non-relative, her first husband's niece.  This niece is the same person Nellie tried to make Dad's beneficiary, twice.  It took a lot of legal help to get this taken care of.  Believe me, not all attorneys are created equal.  Things were all settled by September.

Then in September my Mom passed away from Alzheimer's. She was almost 94.  Alzheimer's, of course, is a terrible disease that robs the patient of her memories.  It also robs the family of the person she was.  When Mom's disease warranted a care facility, she moved to Oregon to be near my sister.  My daughter Sharon went to Oregon to visit her, and the move had accelerated her Alzheimer's; she had no idea who we were.  Such acceleration is typical with a move.  Even a hotel stay, being out of a patients comfort zone, can have the same effect.  Due to legal problems with burial across state lines, we weren't able to inter her ashes until almost Thanksgiving.

Oden and Mom, seven years ago.

I've signed up with a research company to see if I can participate in one of the Alzheimer's research studies that need volunteers.  Who knows what the future holds.  Maybe I can help someone, or help myself by participating.  I need to have a "study partner" in order to participate.  A husband would be their first choice; since that's not possible I've recruited one of my Tai Chi students.  Helen was very happy to help.  We have our first appointment in January.

So here we are in mid-December, and I can't wait for 2016.   I'm hoping for a great year.  I have to say that while I miss Bob every day, I am happy.  He'll always be with me, and he regularly visits me in my dreams.  He'd be very disappointed in me if I behaved like Nellie and didn't move on with my life.

Bob and I on his 70th birthday, four years ago.

Thanks for stopping by and sharing my life with me,

Just gettin' along

It's been over a month since I've checked-in.  Things are going pretty good.  Every day, I miss Bob like mad.  It's been remarked that I seem happy.  I am happy, and I firmly believe that Bob would be pretty upset if I changed and let depression move into my life.

My dogs are one of the reasons I keep going.  They miss Bob, too, but they still need to be feed, to go on walks and to be cared for.  I always feel sorry for people who don't have a pet in their home.  Dog, cat, bird, rabbit, hamster, or even a fish or two.

At the end of September, my cousin Carol and I went on The Ultimate Game Day Weekend tour with the Jay Buckley Baseball Tour Company.  Bob, I, Sharon and Oden have traveled with them previously.  They are a fabulous company and Carol and I had a great time.  We flew into Dallas on Thursday, and stayed there the first night, then we were bussed to Houston to see an Astros game, Astros vs. Rangers.  Their stadium, Minutemaid Park, was great.  The next day, we went to Austin for the UT Austin vs. OSU football game.  It was our first college football game.  It was hot, Texas hot, we had excellent seats, but opted to retreat to the concourse and watch the game on large TV's with all the other sane fans.

On Sunday, we went back to Dallas and attended the Dallas Cowboy football game at AT&T Park.  It was the Atlanta Falcons vs. the Cowboys and it was our first NFL game.  Monday we visited The Sixth Floor Museum, the site of President Kennedy’s assassination, in downtown Dallas, then we went back to AT&T Stadium for a tour of the stadium.  Let me just say that the Jones family did a spectacular job with the design.  What a fabulous football stadium!    That evening we saw the Detroit Tigers play the Texas Rangers at Globe Life Park.  It was another fabulous day.  The only downside was that every home team we saw, lost their game!  Matt, our leader, said we must have been a jinx.

Frisco and I are Dog Obedience Training drop-outs.  Yes, it's true!  We went last Saturday to the first class, held in one of the local parks.  There was only one other doggy pupil, with a very nice Dad and Mom.  We were all there early and used the time to get to know each other.  The instructor was late, so late that I was on my way to my car to leave when she finally showed up.  We did stay for the class, but I was disappointed in her technique, poor communication skills, and the lateness was the cherry on the top.  I mulled it over and decided not to go back.  I was contemplating writing a letter to the Parks and Rec. Dept. but one of my Tai Chi students is one of five Parks Commissioners, and she said she'd make sure it was discussed at their meeting.

I've also been busy making a commissioned quilt.  Today I got the top finished and now I'll work on the quilt back.

Thanks for stopping by and sharing my life with me,

Wonderful

My life is humming right along.  I had a nice 71st birthday, probably the most low-key birthday in 50 years.  I got an orchid plant as a gift, my first, from Carrie.  Sharon called while I was walking the dogs, and sang Happy Birthday on voice mail, ala MM breathy, I think she was singing at her desk at work.

On my birthday, I also reconnected with an old friend, she asked if I was still playing cards.  I told her that the old group of card players had fallen apart when Bob started chemo, but I wanted to start the group again, she asked to be included.  Yesterday, I talked to another couple who had been part of our group years ago, and they'd also like to play.  I hope I can start the group again, next month.

I had a surprise in the mail.  This certificate came from the Department of Defense.  The letter said that President Obama wanted to recognize Bob for his military service.  When he retired he also received certificates from President Clinton, the governor, the mayor for his service as a policeman.

Now, I'll get to the "wonderful" referred to in the post title.  As I was reading my daughter's blog today, I followed a link to "The 7 Rules of Compliment Club",  a July 2 post on Joy The Baker.  You should go over and read the post.

Essentially, the post describes a great way to live.

The 7 Rules of Compliment Club

1. Look for the positive in other people.
2. Be genuine.
3. Be Specific.
4. Be heartfelt is how things make you FEEL.
5. Chill on the back-handed compliments.
6. Just go for it!
7. Don’t expect anything in return.

I think this is perfect, and we all should be members of the Compliment Club.  What do you think?

Thanks for stopping by and sharing my life with me,

Even

This was taken last November when things weren't going so well.  Even then, Bob found something to be happy about.  He's been gone for five months, and I miss him like mad, especially his great smile

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Keyrings for the family

Bob had full military honors when he was interred at Riverside National Cemetary. Erin, my adult granddaughter, suggested taking the shell casings from the three volley salute and having them made into keyrings for all of us.  We had them transformed, here. We had nine shell casings and we turned 6 of them into keyrings, Ole and Brett elected to keep theirs whole. Mine is on the left, Carrie and Sharon went for PRYTZ and Erin and Oden, used Bobs' initials. We also got an initialed one for Bob's sister Marsha.

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Four weeks

The last four weeks have been a whirlwind.  Here's some of the things that happened:

• When I got the call, at 1130 PM, that Bob had passed away, I was told I had 4 hours to get his body moved.  I was in shock, Bob and I had been joking that day, and he had been planning for the future.  But, 4 hours!
• Ten years ago we did a Family Trust and part of that included Advance Directives and our wishes for after death.  This made my task so easy.  Bob wanted to be cremated and buried at the Riverside National Cemetery.  He also wanted no service, just family members present.  That's exactly what we did,  There were a flag folding and presentation, a 3 volley rifle salute, and some simple words.  This took place two weeks after his death, the mortuary took care of all the arrangements, but the National Cemeteries are so busy, up to 80 burials a day, that date was the soonest.
• For the first two weeks, I really paced myself.  There were tons of tasks and notifications to be accomplished, but I didn't want to overdo and exhaust myself.  Plus, from being a caregiver and hospital visitor, my home had really taken a beating.  I'd been advised by one of my daughters that it really needed to be taken care of.  I did a deep clean; it was lots of work but rewarding.
• The first notification was, immediately, to our daughters.  The next day I first called our wonderful Aunts, Vicky and Lorraine, then our sisters, and the final "relative" call was to my Dad's second wife.  Her response was, "What do you want from me?!"  I assured her that I didn't want anything; that I just wanted her to know Bob had died.  She's a horrible person and I don't need to contact her ever again.
• While Bob was sick, I was his pharmacist.  Right after he died I gathered as many prescriptions and injection paraphernalia as I could find and boxed everything.  I was still finding more Rx stuff for the next 3 weeks.  I now have 5 medium size boxes of medical Rx to dispose of.
• I also have 3 drawers of first aid supplies I want to give to someone.
• One of the notifications was to the Pension Dept at LAPD.  They immediately withdrew the pension direct-deposit that had just been made.  I spoke to them today, and I should have my pension by April.  So I'll be without income for 3 months.
• A man had been wanting to buy my car since last Autumn, he called me right after all this happened and I sold him my 9-year old car for a good/fair sum.  Now, I'm driving Bob's SUV.  No sense in having two vehicles when there's only one driver.
• The past two weeks I've been going thru the closets and drawers and getting rid of clothing.  I got rid of a lot of Bob's clothing, but not all.  It's OK with me to have reminders around.  I found many brand new, still in plastic wrap, items of clothing, mainly pants and shorts.  I was really surprised.  Everything went to Goodwill, nine 32 gallon bags, so someone will have some nice duds.
• I use "the office" for my sewing room.  There's actually a desk, a computer desk, printer stand, a bookcase and my sewing table in there.  About 7 years ago Bob purchased a used 4 drawer file cabinet and moved that in, also.  I really hated that file cabinet, I had a two drawer file cabinet, tucked away in the closet that worked just fine.  This week I emptied the 4 drawer and wrangled it out to the garage, I'll either give it away or donate it.  
• We received a letter from Anthem Blue Cross, addressed to Bob.  It essentially stated that they were told by Medicare that Bob was dead, and extended their condolences.  But, they stated, is this info is incorrect, let us know.  

That's what I've been doing this past four weeks.  There's still lots to do, but nothing is urgent.  This week I have a couple of appointments and I'm going to the Parkinson's Support Group, to lead Tai Chi.  Next week I'm going to start teaching Tai Chi, again, and I hope to start a quilt.  Not much sewing has been going on.  But, it will be good to get back into a routine.

The photo was taken on Bob's 70th birthday, 4 1/2 years ago.  If you'd like to know more about Bob, here's the link to his obituary.

Thanks for stopping by and sharing my life with me,

The Last Bob Report

These are some of my favorite photos of Bob.  He got sick with cancer in June, when we got home from our 50th Anniversary cruise.  Cancer claimed him on Tuesday night, he was 74 years old.  When I saw him on Tuesday, during the day, he was optimistic and making plans for the future.  On Wednesday my daughters went with me to make his final arrangements.  We have a trust and a living will, so it was fairly easy and straightforward, because his wishes were spelled out.

He will be cremated and his remains will be interred at the Riverside National Cemetery, next month.  I'm doing OK, Bob and I were both very independent, so I'm use to doing for myself.

Thanks for stopping by and sharing my life with me,

Survival

Since Bob's diagnosis of Lymphoma, more than three months ago, our life has be chaotic.  One example is he has spent 4 weeks total, out of the last six weeks as an inpatient at Loma Linda Hospital.  He had two inpatient chemo treatments, with four more to go; and was hospitalized for pain for 21 days straight.  The pain was caused by a deep hematoma resulting from a bone marrow biopsy.  Initially he could stand but not take a step; then when the hematoma released, his system was flooded with potassium and uric acid, which caused a severe gout flare, and he could no longer stand.

For me, I'm doing OK, and two companies have helped me stay healthy during all this, and I thought I'd give a shout out to them.

The first is GoPicnic!  These are Ready-To-Eat Meals,  If you were in the military, these are so much better than MREs!  They are great tasting and no refrigeration necessary.  I love that the calories are listed right on the front of the box.  There is a wide variety of choices, including Breakfast, Lunch and Snacks.  I don't eat beef, so I skipped those; and went mainly with vegetarian choices.  I have not been disappointed in any of my choices, but the five in the photo are my favorites.  GoPicnic boxes are available in some stores, I found my first one in the hospital gift shop, but I found much better prices when I ordered online,  If you're interested, sign up for their emails and get special offers galore.

The second one is Graze.  "Snacks by Mail", and "Snacking | Reinvented" are two of their mottoes.  For less money than you'd spend at Starbucks each day, you receive a snack box in the mail, each with four snacks.  Each box is tailored to the feedback you give them of your likes and dislikes.  I choose the "calorie counter box" and that helped me to stay on track with my slow weight loss.  Instead of grabbing something from a vending machine, I grab one of the four snacks included in each box, and nibble away.  I mean, who could resist, Hot Cross Yum, Topical Daiquiri, Banana Caramel Dippers or Cracking Black Peppercorn?  Then there's, Scandinavian Forest, Cheese & Chive Oatbakes, Raspberry & Coconut Muffin or Vegetable Power!  These have been lifesavers for me; I hate to be hungry.

(I've loss 15 pounds since Easter; talk about slow.)

Thanks for stopping by and sharing my life with me,

The Bob Report

We got the call that the had a hospital bed for Bob at LLUMC, last Wednesday, so he could start chemo.  We dropped everything, and went.  I mean I even stopped sewing in the middle of a seam!

Wednesday and Thursday were taken up with pre chemo "stuff".  He had chemo on Friday & Saturday.  Sunday was an evaluation day and I brought him home on Monday afternoon.  We were told that the first round of chemo was edited due to Bob's additional health problems.  Future rounds will need to be full strength in order to "kill" the cancer.  We were also told that he really did well and would not need to be hospitalized during the subsequent rounds of chemo.

Tuesday & Wednesday were great, considering the chemo.  He hadn't had much of an appetite, so I made some of his favorite foods and he really "pigged out".  Thursday at 4AM, that all ended.  Bob woke up in excruciating pain, in his right rear hip area.  He has low pain level if he doesn't move, if he moves his pain level jumps to 9 out of 10.  We called his oncologist and she decided she needed to see him.  By late afternoon he was admitted to the hospital.  So far they haven't been able to find the cause of his pain and it hasn't gotten better/worse.  He can stand but not walk; the movement of walking is debilitating.

The good news is they're still trying to find the source of the pain.  He won't be going home until he can walk.  I'm coming to the hospital each day and staying until late afternoon or evening.  We have great neighbors and they have been walking Frisco and Ben for me, if I'm not home by 4:30-5PM.

Life goes on; we'll get through this bump in the road, like we've done so many other times in our 50 plus years of marriage.

This is the first time I'm attempting to post from my iPad, we'll see how it goes.

Flash Mob and Bob!

Saw this on FB this morning and thought I'd share it.  I'm not an emotional or weepy gal, but with everything going on at Casa Prytz, I did feel a catch in my throat.

Here's what's going on:

This happened on Monday: An 11 hour day today. Bob had labs and a Bone Marrow Biopsy in the AM and in the afternoon we saw the Medical Oncologists. From the tests they did last week, they know that the mass is in his abdomen and in his chest. That means it's at least stage 3, but may be stage 4 depending on today's biopsy; the results may take 2 weeks.

But chemo will start on Wednesday. Bob will be hospitalized for 3 or more days to determine his reaction to the chemo. They are trying to tailor the chemo to his cancer and his other health problems, like his heart and kidneys are not fully functioning. After that the chemo will most likely be every 3 weeks, for 3 days in a row. Sharon met us at Loma Linda today. It's great to have wonderful daughters.

And, today, we're waiting for a phone call from LLUMC to tell us they have a hospital bed available for Bob. We were warned the call could come anytime in this 24 hour day. I hoping for noonish, so we can get this ball rolling. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Thanks for stopping by and sharing my life with me,

Milestones and my Day Job

In the social media world, I've hit a couple of milestones recently

• On Pinterest, over 6K followers
• On YouTube, over 1,000 people have viewed the Tai Chi Ball videos Bob and I made for Parkinson's patients.

Lately, my time is really not my own.  Once we became empty nesters, I really valued my alone time.  I certainly love being part of a couple, but I also love being fiercely independent.  Bob is much the same way.  He and I really are a good pair.  Cancer has taken away almost all of our ability to be independent.

For the last month I've been the only driver, he's weak and this is a safety issue.  He could certainly drive, but why?  This week he had doctor and test appointments, one to three everyday, I drove him, and went to the doctor appointments, too; except Wednesday.  On Wednesday I cleaned and did errands.

For over 40 years, Bob has always done his own laundry.  All those years ago, he would change his clothes 3 or 4 times a day!  Work, workout(s), relaxing.  I advised him that he needed to take care of his own mountain of dirty clothes, or go naked.  So he learned to do his own laundry.  Now, he can still manage the task, but it takes a day or two, so I do his laundry in a couple of hours.

I am not complaining, change is good, especially to help out a great guy.  The only thing I'm not happy with is lack of quilting/stitching time.  That's been the first thing to go, mainly regulated to the weekends.  I think of Quilting as my Day Job, now Bob is my Day Job!

 

I threw in some photos of recent quilt work, every post needs photos!  Lots of hearts, lately.

Thanks for stopping by and sharing my life with me,

No News Is Good News, it's a lie.

Most of my "news" is in the "not good" news category, but first I'll tell about the photo.  Our daughter Carrie has lived in NC for 10 years.  Her 100% California family moved to the Raleigh area and are very happy there.  The downside for Bob and I, is we seldom get to see her or her family.  Carrie, like Bob, is not a phone person, so most of our contact is via email!  Four weeks ago, someone knocked on our door, we live in a gated community, and were not expecting visitors, so we figured it was a neighbor.  Wrong, it was both of our daughters and our grandson.  What a delightful surprise.  Carrie had come to SoCal for a visit with her sister, and they thought they'd surprise us.  We had a fun visit and went to Chili's for lunch.

The girls came back a couple of days later to borrow one of our cars, so Carrie would have her own set of wheels while she was in Orange County; they took us to lunch, too.  At the end of her SoCal visit, Carrie came and stayed with us for four days, before returning to NC.  The top photo was taken during those four days.  Bob's T says You Can't Scare Me, I Have Two Daughters, ain't that the truth.  All these visits, were fantastic and a shot in the arm for Bob.  He loves his daughters and loves to see them in the flesh.

Right before Carrie stayed with us, we had an appointment with the Oncological Surgeon, at  the Loma Linda Cancer Center.  He's the one who ordered the biopsy.  He told us Bob's diagnosis, Diffuse large B-cell lymphoma.  Here's a link I found with lots of info.  Bob's scheduled to have a porta-cath, installed, next week.  He'll have chemo, but we really don't know as much as we want.  The surgeon asked us to wait for our appointment with the medical oncologist, he'll refer us to, who will be incharge of Bob's care.  Right now, we're still waiting for the appointment.

Bob is loosing weight, because he just doesn't feel like eating; he's nauseated.  This as me as concerned as the cancer.  My immediate goal is to have him start eating, at least a little more.  He has weight to loose, but this really is not the way!

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Bob Report

We went to the Loma Linda Cancer Center, yesterday. The surgeon told us that he could not operate to remove the mass, it's too entangled with too many things. He thinks it's likely Lymphoma not Sarcoma, but we have to wait for a biopsy to see what it is. He's pretty sure it's cancer but we won't know until the biopsy. If it's Lymphoma, it'll be treated with chemo, if it's Sarcoma, chemo and radiation. This is all a lot to take in, but we'll know more after the biopsy, which we also need to wait on!

Bob's a strong guy and still absorbing what's going on. Keep those prayers and good thoughts coming his way.

(Photo take last month at the Lux Art Center.)

Thanks for stopping by and sharing my life with me,

The Bob Report

I haven't done a "Bob Report" in a long time.  Things have pretty much been status quo, until now. This photo shows what we feel like; we're looking down a long tunnel and we think it will all work out, when we get to the end.

Here's snippets of emails that I've sent to friends:

1. Bob's having a new problem that we're trying to get diagnosed. He has a pain on the lower left side of his chest, it hurts to breath, and the pain radiates around to his back. Not fun. An X-ray showed nothing, and yesterday he had an MRI. We'll get to the bottom of it, but everything takes time.

2. We still don't have an answer for Bob, but we're getting close. First an x-ray showed nothing. Then he had a ct-scan and it showed a mass that his doctor said was about the size of a softball or grapefruit, located where the stomach, lungs and all kinds of good stuff come together, on the left side of his lower chest. She sent him to a surgeon.

We went to the surgeon today and he said he's pretty sure it's cancer and and the mass is larger than we thought and tangled around a lot of things. He thought is was in the stomach, and that Bob's case was too complex for his surgical group and a local hospital and referred us to an oncological surgeon at a University hospital. We faxed the necessary reports to the oncological surgeon and are waiting for a call back with an appointment.

So that's where we stand, right now. We're optimistic, I can't think of another way to be. We have a lot of living to do, so we'll get thru this, too.

3. Bob has an appt. with the oncological surgeon at Loma Linda University Hospital in Loma Linda, on 9/11, in the afternoon.

So, on Thursday we'll find out what this surgeon thinks.

Thanks for stopping by and sharing my life with me,

Down, but not out

I have two of these beautiful Sally Holmes roses planted at the back of the house.  They climb as high as the roof, and shade our bedroom windows.  The bedroom faces east, so the roses protect from the heat of the morning sun.

When we came home from some morning appointments, one of the roses had lost it's support and fallen over.  I called David, our gardener, he came over right away, and he thinks the rose can be saved.

He trimmed off most of the bush, leaving the base, and hopefully it'll be saved.  I'll just need to get another trellis for it to climb on.

Here's a shot of Frisco and Ben on the loveseat.  It's amazing that they get along so well.  Ben's so small, he can walk/run right under Frisco's belly.  We are very lucky to have them.

Our morning appointments consisted of me having the annual boob squeeze, aka mamo; and Bob's having new problems.  He hurts when he breathes and the pain radiates to his back.  It has me scared.  The doctor asked one million questions, which is good, and ordered an xray.  I really hope it is a little thing, instead of a big thing.

Thanks for stopping by and sharing my life with me,